We’re constantly told that we need to love our parents even if they’re not always the best. But the truth is that some parents are just toxic. This is a very real problem that can’t be glossed over just because that person gave birth to you. Children are scarred for life and they are left to deal with the damages for the rest of their lives.
If you feel like any of the points below apply to you, you probably grew up under the care of a toxic mother. While she may have been that way unconsciously, you are the person who has to deal with the end result. It is your choice whether you want to try and change her or to just distance yourself.
Here are 10 signs you grew up with a toxic mother.
1. You Aren’t Your Own Priority
Putting your own needs before other people’s just doesn’t come easily to you. Even if it is at the cost of your own happiness, you’ll go out of the way to make sure everyone else has what they want.
2. You Never Ask Yourself How You Feel
Since you’re so used to obeying orders, you never stop to ask yourself how you actually feel about something. You just follow instructions because you’ve never had the choice to refuse a task you found abhorrent.
3. You Were Constantly Belittled
No matter how hard you tried to please her, your mother found fault with everything you did and she never hid her displeasure from you. She always points out even the tiniest of flaws, especially when you’re happy about something.
4. You Get Angry Whenever She’s Around
She knows just what to say and what to do to provoke you into a rage. And you know that she wants you to fly off the handle which only makes you angrier.
5. You Find It Difficult To Open Up
Your mom made sure that you were never able to tell people about the way she treated you and that habit has spilled over into all the other parts of your life. Opening up about your problems is difficult for you to even when you really want to talk.
6. You Have No Confidence In Yourself
There’s so much more to you but you don’t have the confidence to figure it out. Your mom has been tearing you apart for years and your faith in yourself took a huge hit thanks to that.
7. You Need Outside Approval
Nothing you do is ever good enough if it doesn’t meet with approval from everyone around you. You need to feel validated at all times only holds you back from doing the things you love.
8. Your Mom Doesn’t Treat You Like Other Moms Treat Their Kids
Listening to someone else tell you what it was like being brought up by their mother makes you realize that your mother was very different. Sure they have issues but they seem petty against yours.
9. Your Hopes Were Always Quashed
Just when you thought you had a concrete aim in life, your mother would come right along and point out everything that was wrong with it. Rather than encouraging you to follow your dreams, she was always doing her best to make you fail.
10. You Can’t Depend On Her
Mothers are supposed to be the people you can always turn to but you know that yours isn’t like that. As much as it hurts to acknowledge it, you know that turning to her will only leave you feeling worse.